Letting go of what’s familiar

I’ve often found this to be a mighty difficult thing to do. Letting go of the familiar can be really hard, can’t it?. It’s much easier to hang on to what is familiar and safe and the very identity that we claim to be ‘us’.

After all, if we let go of these things then we enter the unknown. That means we may have to change, make choices and move into uncharted territory. And that means experiencing a loss rather than a gain.

And we’ll be responsible for what we’ve chosen which can lead to ‘ugly pain’ when we criticise or judge ourselves if things turn out less well than we’d hoped or when we do things wrong, fail, make a mistake. This leads to more of that ‘ugly pain’ when we tell ourselves we’re rejected, abandoned, ignored or when things go wrong that we cannot control. best budget sleeping bag

When we take this path we are likely to blame ourselves or, to get away from this type of pain, blame others.

There is another obstacle to letting go:

• We might actually get what we want! What? How can this be an obstacle? You may recall the effect of the ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’. Standing up to our ‘full height’ when growing up may very well have led to being ‘chopped down’ or your growth stunted by family members, classmates, teachers, group leaders etc. As a result, we’ll have learned to avoid our true nature and fit in with those groups that we were part of in our early years. This is perfectly understandable yet the legacy is like those baby elephants that are tethered when young and continue to believe they are tethered as adults by what is then a flimsy tether.

But as adults we can now ask ourselves ‘Why fit in when we were all born to stand out?’

Isn’t it fascinating that most of us assume the unfamiliar will be frightening to some degree? What if it proves to be great? in-stock

We find reasons ‘why not to’, or we join the ‘When-I’ tribe. You know, ‘I’ll do it when I know enough, are brave enough or when such and such happens….’

And let’s be honest, this usually means ‘Never’

So if you want to let go of that job, that relationship, that house, that habit, you may find it helpful to start by asking yourself:

• What have I missed out still missing out on by not letting go?
• What was/is the benefit of not letting go?
• What do I imagine is the best thing that could happen if I did let go?
• Is this my choice not to let go?
• Who or what is not letting me let go? (Really?)
• How much closer to my dreams will I be if I do let go?

For further help with making those changes that you long for but still seem to be light years away, do get in touch.