If not right and wrong, then what?

I think we’ve got so used to evaluating & assessing our words and actions and those of others in terms of good/bad, right/wrong that to conceive of another way to do it seems, what, far fetched, unrealistic, pie in the sky?

What though, following the lead provided by Marshall Rosenberg, the architect of Non-Violent Communication, what if we evaluated and assessed those words and actions in terms of how well our present needs were being met? What difference might that make?

Plenty! is my simple retort to the imagined answer you might have already given. Oh, another word now comes to mind too. Better. Ok, two three words. Better, peaceful communication.

Here’s a simple practice involving thinking. Well, you can write too. Notice the next time you judge yourself or others in the right/wrong, good/bad habit that most of us have grown up with. Now allow yourself to get curious. Start wondering with this question…. ‘What present need of mine is not being met right now?’

Next bit: assuming you got an answer, start that wondering brain again with a different question…  ‘I wonder how I could get that need met?’

You may strike a blank in response to both these questions but my advice (sorry, I know you haven’t asked for it) is to continue to practice. It just takes a couple of minutes tops and will be, I guarantee, a very good use of your time.