How to breathe life into lifeless communication

It’s no secret that our communication has an impact on all our relationships.
At work with clients, colleagues & customers.
At home with family members and in our most intimate relationships.
And over time, these communications can become dull and lifeless.
Think about mealtimes at home & meetings at work. Don’t they become predictable, as if everyone were reading from a movie script?
You have arguments as well, yes? But they’re never different arguments are they? They are the same argument you’ve had 100 times!

If you always do….
And as you know, if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get the same results.
And this is not at all surprising because for thousands of years, one approach has dominated the way we communicate with each other, especially when someone has said or done something we don’t like.This approach leads to fighting over who’s right, who’s wrong, who’s at fault, who to blame and then who to punish.
As a result, the painful results in our personal and working relationships are all too clear. They become a competition with winners and losers, which mean we all lose the type of safe, authentic & trusting connection with others that we truly long for.

So what else is there?
But if not that approach, then what other approach is there?
This is the question I asked myself nearly 30 years ago when some incidents with my sons and children I was teaching made me realise that I could no longer continue using this same approach that I had grown up with.
I had to find out how to communicate differently, especially when someone said or did something I didn’t like. A way that was authentic & respectful.
It’s no exaggeration to say that my soul was literally crying out for me to find another way.
What I found out was that for most of the time humans have been able to communicate, they did it in a way that was respectful, authentic and co-operative. They used an approach where understanding others and being understood was a priority.

And why was this so important?
Because, as I’ve learned, when we truly understand ourselves and each other, we can find solutions to problems much more easily and that work for everyone.
Firstly, it’s about shining a light on those unhelpful habits of communication that create the painful separation from others, especially those people we care about the most.
Then there’s the answer to the more important question: how do you communicate differently so that everyone gets a more satisfying result?

Awareness & knowledge are helpful, but on their own are not enough.
Learning and practising the skills are needed in order to form new habits of communicating that create the connections with others that we all truly long for, based on openness, authenticity, trust and respect.

• How to be fully present & listen carefully to others, even when the ‘temperature’ of a conversation rises to an uncomfortable level
• Understanding the difference between thoughts and feelings
• Sensing and trusting the wisdom of our bodies
• Identifying, naming & expressing our needs
• Being clear what we want as a result of our communication

All of these combine to enable everyone to speak & hear the ‘unarguable truth’. This creates a new level of understanding, one that enables everyone to get what they truly need.
By applying this approach and these skills, I guarantee you will bring a new clarity, life and understanding into even your most challenging conversations and relationships. It will be powerful, delightful & rewarding for everyone.
I’m leading a weekend workshop in Bucharest, Romania on 2nd & 3rd March and one later in the UK in the Reading area.